Knightmare parody of 'Centerfold' by The J. Geils Band Another one about Barry's Level 2 task, in which Hordriss had become infatuated with the tavern wench Marta, and was horrified to discover that Lord Fear's scaly seneschal Lissard had assumed her form in order to deceive him. For some reason this idea popped into my head while I was listening to it on the radio one day! Parody lyrics How she walked, how she talked When she'd come to greet My winsome, buxom waitress Always helped me to my seat She was gorgeous, so I'd Go in there every day Besotted with her, my waitress I'd never felt this way Then some boy comes walkin' through our flirty tavern scene And turns my buxom waitress to a shade of minty green My blood runs cold Calamity! I've just been told My waitress is the seneschal Waitress is the seneschal My blood runs cold My enemy's been much too bold Waitress is the seneschal Slipped her notes where I confessed That I was thinkin' of her undressed I won't lie, she turned me on My daughter thought me ill I was shakin' in my robes Whenever she flashed those magic globes Soon she had a hold on me The waitress had some skill Those hot and hungry pleasures, the magic of her touch To see her with that scaly face is really just too much My blood runs cold Yea, calamity! I've just been told My waitress is the seneschal Waitress is the seneschal My blood runs cold My enemy's been much too bold Waitress is the seneschal (Na na, n-not Marta, n-na na na, n-n-not Marta) (Na na na, n-not Marta, n-na na na, n-n-not Marta) (Na na, n-not Marta, n-na na na, n-n-not Marta) (Na na na, n-not Marta, n-na na na, n-n-not Marta) It's okay, he understands This kid won't spread it through the land I hope that when this Lissard's gone He'll soon forget just what went on Take him far, yes I will We'll sort this out discreetly Take him out of Level Two Or kill him off if need be A part of me wants to be sick Erase this from my mind, and quick Oh no, I can't escape it Oh yeah, at least we didn't tape it My blood runs cold Calamity! I've just been told My waitress is the seneschal Waitress is the seneschal My blood runs cold My enemy's been much too bold My waitress is the seneschal! (Na na, n-not Marta, n-na na na, n-n-not Marta) Original lyrics – audio Does she walk? Does she talk? Does she come complete? My homeroom homeroom Angel Always pulled me from my seat She was pure like snowflakes No-one could ever stain The memory of my Angel Could never cause me pain Years go by, I'm lookin' through a girly magazine And there's my homeroom Angel on the pages in between My blood runs cold My memory has just been sold My Angel is the centerfold Angel is the centerfold My blood runs cold My memory has just been sold Angel is the centerfold Slipped me notes under the desk While I was thinkin' about her dress I was shy, I turned away Before she caught my eye I was shakin' in my shoes Whenever she flashed those baby blues Something had a hold on me When Angel passed close by Those soft and fuzzy sweaters, too magical to touch To see her in that négligée is really just too much My blood runs cold Yeah, my memory has just been sold My Angel is the centerfold Angel is the centerfold My blood runs cold My memory has just been sold Angel is the centerfold (Na na, n-na na na, n-na na na, n-n-na na na) (Na na na, n-na na na, n-na na na, n-n-na na na) (Na na, n-na na na, n-na na na, n-n-na na na) (Na na na, n-na na na, n-na na na, n-n-na na na) It's okay, I understand This ain't no Never-Never Land I hope that when this issue's gone I'll see you when your clothes are on Take your car, yes we will We'll take your car and drive it Take it to a motel room And take 'em off in private A part of me has just been ripped The pages from my mind are stripped Oh no, I can't deny it Oh yeah, I guess I gotta buy it My blood runs cold My memory has just been sold My Angel is the centerfold Angel is the centerfold My blood runs cold My memory has just been sold My Angel is the centerfold! (Na na, n-na na na, n-na na na, n-n-na na na) Back