Wednesday 23rd May 2018
Chicago, Illinois, USA
Bono: "Desire... greed... show-offiness... deceit... lust... vanity – all the essentials for a performer – for a showman... like myself. Guilty, Lord. And of course... a licence to just... look in the mirror. Mm..." [approaches tablet computer on a stand]
MacPhisto: "Very revealing!" [inhales admiringly] "Oooh."
Crowd: [cheers as a devilish face appears superimposed over Bono's image on the screen]
MacPhisto: "Ohh! Age... can bring... a-- a spot of bother." [points to lesion on his cheek and chuckles] "Is there a dermatologist in the house?"
Crowd: [whistles and cheers]
MacPhisto: [sniggers] "My name... is Mr MacPhisto."
MacPhisto: "I have always been with you, Chicago. You're 'my kind of town'!" [laughing] "Oh, God almighty, who writes this shit?!"
MacPhisto: "You see, I'm having a kind of comeback. But you've all made it so much easier for me, with your 'Interweb'. I'm kind of... all over you, in your telephones. Don't you love those ones and zeroes?" [sniggers]
Crowd: [whoops and whistles]
MacPhisto: "I'm so proud of my protégé – Comrade Putin!"
MacPhisto: "Hahaha. Dearest Vlad – I told you one day, people would spy on themselves!" [chuckles] "Here we are. The truth is DEAD! And the KKK are alive, and out on the streets of Charlottesville without their silly costumes! How very modern. So get with it, Vladdy-Vlad! It's so old-school, this polonium up the bum!"
MacPhisto: "And Chicago? You know that... it's when you don't believe I exist, that I do... my best work." [sniggers]
MacPhisto: "Don't believe what you hear. Don't believe what you see. If you just close your eyes... you can feel the enemyyy!"
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