US flag Tuesday 26th June 2018
New York, New York, USA

Madison Square Garden


[Desire ends]

Bono: "Desire... greed... show-offiness... deceit... lust – all the essentials for a showman like myself. And of course... a licence... to just... look in the mirror... all the time." [approaches tablet computer on a stand; sees a devilish face superimposed over his own image]

MacPhisto: [evil chuckle]

Crowd: [whoops]

MacPhisto: [sings] "Please allow me to introduce myself. I'm a man... of wealth and taste. I been around for many a long year... stole many a man's soul... to waste. I was there in Charlottesville, with the Nazi flags!" [gives Nazi salute] "...and the KKK. It was I spray-painted the First Lady's coat – I told her it was all the rage!" [sniggers]

Crowd: [cheers and applause]

MacPhisto: "Oh god. Pleased to meet you!  Hope you guess my name. The name's... M-MacPhisto, actually."

Crowd: [cheer]

MacPhisto: "I sometimes dress up as Mick Jagger. But it's a wonderful time to be ME!"

Crowd: [cheer]

MacPhisto: "Putting the left and the right... pitting the left and the right against each other. Liberals offended by... everything. Ooh, sensitive little snowflakes!"

Crowd: [whoops]

MacPhisto: "Conservatives offended by..." [inhales thoughtfully] "...nothing!" [wheezy laugh]

Crowd: [laughter and applause]

MacPhisto: "Except, perhaps, the idea of giving up their... assault weapons." [sniggers] "That would be awful!"

Crowd: [laughter]

MacPhisto: "You can't make this shit up."

Crowd: [cheers and applause]

MacPhisto: "And!  For the educated classes on the island of Manhattan... just remember. It's when you don't believe that I exist – that's when I do my best work."

[Acrobat begins]

MacPhisto: "Don't believe what you hear. Don't believe what you see. Just close your eyes... you can FEEL THE ENEMYYY! Haaa!" [raises and waves his arms]


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