English flag Friday 19th October 2018
Manchester, England

Manchester Arena

MacPhisto: [sings] "Even the greatest stars... discover themself in the looking glass..." [approaches iPad on a stand; sees a devilish face superimposed over his own image] "Even the greatest stars..."

Crowd: [cheers and whistles]

[Man in crowd: "We love you MacPhisto!!"]

MacPhisto: "Oh, hello. I'm back!"

Crowd: [cheer]

MacPhisto: "MacPhisto... is back!"

Crowd: [cheers, whistles and applause]

MacPhisto: "Although, in so many ways, I have always been with you. Though my job has rarely been easier. People... spying on themselves with their own... telephones."

Crowd: [laughter]

MacPhisto: "And look at you... Manky people!"

Crowd: [laughter and cheers]

MacPhisto: "You've never been so interconnected, yet you've never been so divided, my little... Disunited Kingdom, have you?"

Crowd: [applause]

MacPhisto: "It's an old magic trick, but making journalists disappear still seems to impress."

Crowd: [whoops]

MacPhisto: "Fear... is a man's best friend. ...BOO!" [evil laugh] "And..." [Russian accent] "I do love a bit of... polonium up the bum."

Crowd: [laughter]

MacPhisto: "Another win for Novichok... at Wimbledon!" [laughs]

Crowd: [laughter]

MacPhisto: "And Manchester? Just remember... it's when you don't believe I exist – that's when I do... my best work."

[Acrobat begins]

MacPhisto: "Don't believe what you hear. Don't believe what you see. If you just close your eyes... you can FEEL THE ENEMYYY!  Ahhh!"

[ Back to MacPhisto transcripts ]