Monday 10th May 1993 Rotterdam, the Netherlands Feyenoord Stadium
Note: If any Dutch speakers can make out what Monique says when answering the phone, or if anything else needs correcting, please get in touch – many thanks!
MacPhisto: "Thank you!" Crowd: [applause] MacPhisto: "When..." Crowd: [singing] "Happy birthday dear Bono..." MacPhisto: "When-- when you get to my age, you don't really look forward to making speeches... so I'll be brief. In fact I'll sing you a song." MacPhisto: [sings] "Try a taste of Martini, the most beautiful drink in the world! It's the right one, it's the bright one, that's Martini!" Crowd: [laughter and applause] MacPhisto: "I love that one. Rock 'n' roll is so wide, really, it's such a broad thing. Nobody really knows what it is. I'm wearing platform boots tonight." [shows them off] "I know you like your pop stars to be exciting. Look what you've done to me. You've made me very famous, and for that, I'll be eternally grateful – thank you." Crowd: [cheers and applause] MacPhisto: "Round about this time at night, I often make an-- a phone call. Sometimes to the President of the United States. But tonight, I'm going to call my travel agent... because I'm very tired and I think I need a break from all this." Crowd: [boos and whistles] MacPhisto: "Don't get me wrong, I love you. But I love myself as well." [dials] MacPhisto: "I love that airport out at Schiphol, don't you? It's got everything you could possibly want." Recorded message: "KLM Reserveringen. This is KLM Reservations." [MacPhisto frowns] Recorded message: "Er is nog één wachtende vóór u. Wilt u zo vriendelijke zijn aan de lijn te blijven. Dank u." [MacPhisto makes pained faces] Recorded message: "There is one call ahead of you. Please hold the line. Thank you." MacPhisto: [aggravated] "Hello? Somebody pick up the phone! ...Hello?" [waiting music plays; MacPhisto's eyes suddenly light up] MacPhisto: "They're playing my tune. I'm huge in Moscow! It must be very busy tonight." MacPhisto: [sings] "La la da daaa da daaa..." Recorded message: "Iederéén is nog steeds in gesprek." MacPhisto: "Hello?" Recorded message: "Wacht even. Everybody is still busy. Please hold the line." [music resumes] MacPhisto: "I don't mind waiting, do you?" Crowd: "No!" MacPhisto: "We've got all night, really, haven't we?" Crowd: "Yes!" MacPhisto: "We don't mind paying a hundred thousand pound fine, now, do we?!" Crowd: "No!" MacPhisto: "Anyway, off with the horns – I think maybe I'll have more luck if they don't know who I am!" [removes horns] MacPhisto: [sings] "Da da da da daaa da daaa..." Woman: "Goedenacht, u spreekt met KLM Reserveringen, met Monique [inaudible – might be her surname?]." MacPhisto: "Hello?" Woman: "Good evening." MacPhisto: "Hello, good evening, do you speak English?" Woman: "Yes, sir." MacPhisto: "Oh--" Woman: "May I help you?" MacPhisto: "Thank you very much. I'm, I'm actually looking to leave, um, um, Amsterdam tonight, and I'd like a flight out of Schiphol this evening – is that at all possible?" Woman: "Don't think so. Um... where would you like to go to?" MacPhisto: "Um, I... what flights have you left this evening, leaving?" Woman: "Don't think... anything..." MacPhisto: "Tomorrow morning, then?" Woman: "Yeah... that would be the first--" MacPhisto: "What have you-- what have you got going? I don't really mind, as long as it's sunny." Woman: "It's, uh, well, it's supposed to be sunny tomorrow here, in Holland!" MacPhisto: "That..." Crowd: [cheer] Woman: "You don't have to go that far!" MacPhisto: "Well, they-- that's what they said about yesterday, and there was a terrible thunderstorm, I ruined my hair!" Woman: "Oh, really?" [laughs] MacPhisto: "Have you nowhere exotic, like Singapore or somewhere like that?" Woman: [amused] "Of course, of course. Um, let me see, tomorrow..." MacPhisto: [suspiciously] "You wouldn't be taking the mickey out of me, now, would you?" Woman: "Sorry?" MacPhisto: "You wouldn't be taking the mickey out of an old man, would you?" Woman: "A mickey? I don't know, what's a mickey?" MacPhisto: "Oh, it's a colloquialism." Woman: "It's a joke?" MacPhisto: "It's a joke." Woman: "No, no joke." MacPhisto: "Oh – thank you ve--" Woman: "I'm very serious." MacPhisto: "OK then, glad to hear it." Woman: "Um, we have a flight going tomorrow, but not too early – it's going at 15:05. And it'll--" MacPhisto: "And where is it going to?" Woman: "To Singapore." MacPhisto: "Well, thank you, I, I... I just might make it." Woman: "Oh, I see." MacPhisto: "Y-You're a very nice lady. What's your name?" Woman: "My name is Monique." MacPhisto: "I'd like to sing you a song, Monique." Woman: "Oh, that would be nice!" MacPhisto: "If you just stay on the line, there's a good girl." Woman: "Okay." [Ultra Violet begins] MacPhisto: [sings] "Sometimes I feel like I don't know, sometimes I feel like checking out... I want to get it wrong... you can't always be strong... and you know love it won't be long..." MacPhisto: "Goodnight!" |
[ Back to MacPhisto transcripts ] |