Spanish flag 22nd May 1993
Madrid, Spain

Estadio Vicente Calderón


Note: If any Spanish speakers can make out what the man says upon answering the phone, please get in touch – many thanks!


MacPhisto: [sings] "Moon River! ...Moon River, wider than a mile!  I'm crossing you in style... some day. Oh, you star maker! You dream chaser! Wherever you're going, I'm going your way!"

MacPhisto: "That's lovely, isn't it?"

Crowd: [cheer]

MacPhisto: "No hablaré español. Do you know who I am? Because I know you probably even better than you know yourself. Let me introduce you to my band. Where is Edge? There he is. Don't you think he's an exciting pop star? Larry Mullen Junior... giving Bruce Springsteen a run for his money, I'd say." [Larry gives him the middle finger] "There's Adam Clayton, there's the cat that got the cream!"

Crowd: [applause]

MacPhisto: "Look what you've done to me! You've made me very famous... and I thank you. I know you like your pop stars to be exciting, so... I bought these." [shows off platform boots] "Shall I tell you a little story... about a hotel in this very city..." [pitifully] "...who wouldn't let your favourite rock 'n' roll band stay there?"

Crowd: [boos and whistles]

MacPhisto: "Well... they don't like rock 'n' roll bands in the Ritz, apparently. They have a problem with the dress code. Now, round about this time, I often make a phone call from the stage. Sometimes to the President of the United States. But not tonight – I'm going to call that hotel. So you can all give out to them!  I'm very tired, just hold on two seconds."

[dials]

MacPhisto: "I must say, you speak English awfully well. I'm Irish myself, of course."

MacPhisto: [sings] "Ta-da ta-daa... ta-daa ta-daa... la-da-daa da-daa..."

Man: [inaudible answer]

MacPhisto: "Hello, is that the Ritz Hotel, Madrid?"

Man: [inaudible]

MacPhisto: "I, I'd like to speak to Mr Olizares, please."

Man: "Mr Olivares?"

MacPhisto: "Thank you very much."

Man: "Olivares?"

MacPhisto: "Yes."

Man: "Right, hold the line, please."

MacPhisto: "Thank you very much."

[waiting music plays]

Crowd: [cheer]

MacPhisto: "They're playing my tune!"

Recorded message: "Su llamada será atendida en breve. Gracias."

MacPhisto: [sings] "Laa da daaa... la-da-daaa da daa daa daa..."

MacPhisto: "I love that one."

Recorded message: "Would you please hold. Your call will be dealt with in a few moments. Thank you."

MacPhisto: "Oh – it's no problem at all. We've got all night, haven't we?"

Crowd: [cheer]

MacPhisto: "Off with the horns, on with the show, eh?" [laughs]

[music continues]

MacPhisto: [sings] "Laaa daa-da-daaa..."

Recorded message: "...favor, no se retire."

MacPhisto: [sings] "La-di-da da-da-daaa daaa... Spanish eyes are waiting for me..."

Recorded message: "Would you please hold. Your call will be dealt with in a few moments. Thank you."

MacPhisto: "Oh, I don't mind waiting at all!"

[music continues]

MacPhisto: [sings] "Laaa la-laa... laa la la-la... la... la... la la... laaa-la-laa..."

Recorded message: "...tire. Su llamada será atendida en breve. Gracias."

MacPhisto: "How's the elections going, then? Vota MacPhisto, I'd say!"

Recorded message: "Would you please hold. Your call will be dealt with in a few moments."

MacPhisto: [sings] "Laaa da-daa..."

MacPhisto: "Poor old Franco – you'd miss him, though, wouldn't you? All that pulling out of toenails, it's just not the same without him."

Man: "Hello?"

MacPhisto: "Hello, Mr Olizares?"

Man: "Please--"

Recorded message: "...favor, no--"

MacPhisto: "I-- I just, I have a question to ask about, um, I'd like to stay in your hotel... um, but I believe there's a problem with dress code. I'd just like to say, I've got the right suit now."

Man: "Yes?"

MacPhisto: "And if I'm wearing the right suit, would you let me stay in your hotel?"

Man: "But you will need tie and jacket."

MacPhisto: "I beg your pardon?"

Man: "You will need tie and [line breaks up]."

MacPhisto: "...Uh, I need a tie and a jacket? But I've got a very special jacket, and I have some horns."

Man: "I understand."

MacPhisto: "Would that be a problem?"

Man: "Oh, no problems at all."

MacPhisto: "So, no problem for Mr MacPhisto?"

Man: "No, no no, of course not."

MacPhisto: "Well, thank you very much. You'll have MacPhisto, but you won't have the group of U2. That's fine; thank you!"

Crowd: [cheer]

[Ultra Violet begins]


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