MacPhisto: "Off with the horns, on with the show. Look what you've done to me! You've made me very famous, and I thank you."

Crowd: [applause]

MacPhisto: "I'd like to introduce you to my band. On my right here, known to his friends as Reggie the Dog... The Edge. Sitting behind the drum kit, a man who could put Bruce Springsteen out of a job – Larry Mullen Junior. And on my left, a man with a ginormous willy – Adam Clayton!"

Crowd: [cheers and applause]

MacPhisto: "But it's not as big as my one. No – ha ha!"

Crowd: [laughter]

MacPhisto: "Round about this time at night, I often make a telephone call. Sometimes to the President of the United States. But not tonight. I'm calling a taxi to take me home."

Crowd: [boo]

MacPhisto: "Don't get me wrong, I love you!  But I love myself also. And I'm very tired. I am, after all, the last pop star."

[dials]

[phone rings for some time]

MacPhisto: "Oh, do hurry up."

[phone continues to ring]

MacPhisto: [pretends to check his watch] "Time flies when you're having a good time, doesn't it? My heavens."

MacPhisto: [sings] "Laaa da daaa da-da daaa..."

Man: "Taxis Verts, goedenavond."

MacPhisto: "Hello, excuse me, do you speak English?"

Man: "Yeah, a little."

MacPhisto: "Thank you ve-- you're very good, I really appreciate that. I'm Irish myself." [clears throat] "I'd like to order a taxi to take me home."

Man: "Yes. Where you are?"

MacPhisto: "I'm, I'm at, erm... well actually, I'm everywhere. My name is MacPhisto."

Man: "Yeah...?"

MacPhisto: "And I know you very well."

Man: "Yeah...?"

MacPhisto: "I know you probably even better than you know yourself."

Man: "Where are you?"

MacPhisto: "...Uh, I beg your pardon? How dare you speak to me like that."

Man: "WHERE ARE YOU?"

MacPhisto: "Do you know who you're talking to?!"

Man: "Whe--"

MacPhisto: "Do you know who you're talking to?"