MacPhisto: "Do you know who I am?"

Crowd: [shouts and whistles]

MacPhisto: "Look what you've done to me. You've made me very famous, and I thank you. The last time you saw me, I was 5 feet 8 and carrying a white flag. But I know you like your pop stars to be exciting, so I bought these!" [shows off platform boots] "Now look at me – I'm gigantic."

Crowd: [cheers and whistles]

MacPhisto: "Round about this time at night, I often make a telephone call. Sometimes to the President of the United States. But not tonight. You've got so many important people coming to the capital here – of Zooropa."

Crowd: [cheer]

MacPhisto: "Maybe I should call the hotel – what is it, the Petite? Regent for the Petite? – and see who's in town. Shall I give them a call? See if we can speak to Margaret Thatcher or somebody."

Crowd: [cheer]

MacPhisto: "I know an awful lot of important people... in important places."

[dials]

Man: "Le Régent Petite France & Spa."

MacPhisto: "Hello, is that the Regent Petite?"

Man: [sounds like "Yeah, who's calling?"]

MacPhisto: "Hello, my name is Monsieur MacPhisto, and I'd like to just make some enquiries of you, I'd like to speak to, um... Monsieur Le Pen. Would he be staying with you?"

Crowd: [cheers and boos]

Man: "No."

MacPhisto: "You don't have anybody by the name of Le Pen staying with you?"

Man: "No, no, nobody, no."

MacPhisto: "Would Helmut Kohl be there?"

Man: "Excuse me?"

MacPhisto: "Would Helmut Kohl be staying with you tonight?"

Man: "I do not understand the name."

MacPhisto: "That's Kohl with a K. Margaret Thatcher, perhaps?"

Man: "No."

MacPhisto: "No. Well... if Monsieur Le Pen books in, I'd just like to leave a message with him."

Man: "That's impossible, the hotel is fully booked tonight."

MacPhisto: "Oh, but it's never too full for me."

Man: "Yeah."

MacPhisto: "And I'd like to leave a message for Monsieur Le Pen, I'd like to thank him for letting me back..."

Man: "Okay."

MacPhisto: "...into the country."

Man: "Yes, okay."

MacPhisto: "I'm back!  I'm back!"

[Ultra Violet begins]

Man: "Okay, bye-bye."