MacPhisto: "Off with the horns, on with the show. Look what you've done to me. You've made me very famous, and I thank you. The last time you saw me, I was 5 feet 8. Now look at me – I'm gigantic. I know you like your pop stars to be exciting, so I bought these." [shows off platform boots]

Crowd: [lengthy applause]

MacPhisto: "You have a lovely country here in Switzerland."

Crowd: [cheer]

MacPhisto: "I and my friends were out on the lake yesterday on a boat, it was lovely. We could drink the water, but we couldn't swim in it."

Crowd: [laughter]

MacPhisto: "Now I have to take some time out to rest, so I'm going to make a phone call. I want to order a taxi to take me home, 'cos I'm very tired."

Crowd: [boos and whistles]

MacPhisto: [dismayed] "Don't get me wrong, I love you!  I love you!  But I live in Las Vegas, and that's a long way from here. Goodnight."