29th July 1993
Valle Hovin Stadion
[Desire ends with MacPhisto calling "Goodnight John-Boy!"]
MacPhisto: "Goodnight John-Boy, [inaudible]... always good."
MacPhisto: [sings] "Try a taste of Martini... the most beautiful drink in the world! It's the bright one... that's the right one, it's Martini!"
MacPhisto: "I thought I'd sing this one for the neighbours, they've been so good – thank you. What a wonderful show, what a wonderful night; what a wonderful country you have here. So..."
MacPhisto: "Ahh, the fjords; the wildlife is so wonderful here! And what's all the fuss about the whales?"
Crowd: [laughter / boo]
MacPhisto: "I mean, I don't understand it – what have the whales ever done for us, eh?"
[Man in crowd: "Kill the whales!"]
[Second man: "Eat them!"]
MacPhisto: "They're unemployed... they don't pay taxes... and they take up a lot of room, don't you think? I have a friend here, and he taught me all about the whale. His name is Mr Olsen. I believe he's your Minister for the Fisheries – shall I give him a telephone call?"
MacPhisto: [sounds like "Oh, booing... here. You're so macho."] "Ahh... when you're famous, everybody gives you their telephone number! Jan Henry Olsen, let me see."
MacPhisto: "Zero-eight-three, four-eight, three-three-two. You can call him tomorrow if you like!"
MacPhisto: "Hello, I'd like to speak to Mr Olsen, please."
MacPhisto: "Is this Mr Olsen?"
MacPhisto: "Oh, I'm..."
Crowd: [loud cheer]
MacPhisto: "I'm jolly, jolly pleased to get through to you. My name is Mr MacPhisto."
Olsen: "How do you do?"
MacPhisto: "I'm very well, thank you, I'm here with a few friends."
Olsen: "I can hear them in the background!"
MacPhisto: "And, I must say, um – we all here agree, um, that the whales, all the fuss about the whales is just complete madness, and we'd just like to say to you that – we think that, um... whales have done nothing for us, and we should put a tax on them at least!"
MacPhisto: "What do you think, Mr Olsen?"
Olsen: "My opinion is that, er, if they were threatened, we shouldn't catch them, but as long as there, there are-- they are safe stocks, we shall do that, because of the food."
MacPhisto: "Ahh..." [drowned out by crowd noise]
Crowd: [loud cheering and chanting]
Olsen: [drowned out by crowd noise]
MacPhisto: "Well I haven't, actually – I'm, I must say this to you, that, um – I'm, you know, I have absolutely no time for people who like whales or dolphins, myself... and I'm sure that if you catch them, you'll eat them all yourself, won't you Mr Olsen!"
Olsen: "No, I won't, because I can't manage that, but, er... I'm very glad that very many Norwegians want that, but, er--"
MacPhisto: "D'you like to munch on a whale yourself, do you?"
Olsen: "I take a bit, yes."
MacPhisto: "Aha, you like the odd whale steak!"
Olsen: "I'm going to have a whale steak tomorrow. D'you want to come and have dinner with me?"
Crowd: [laughter and loud cheers]
MacPhisto: [drowned out by crowd noise] "You're so very kind. Mr Olsen..."
MacPhisto: "I think you and I are going to get on just fine!"
[Ultra Violet begins]
Olsen: "I hope so, because I like you very much too!"
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