MacPhisto: [sings] "And they're all there to meet me... hair like gold..."

MacPhisto: "I love that one. How many of you are called Evans here tonight?"

[several cheers and shouts from the crowd]

MacPhisto: "And I thought The Edge was such a special name! Can I just introduce you to my guitar player – this is, after all, his home away from home."

Crowd: [lengthy applause]

MacPhisto: "I must say I love to be up here, and Wales is so generous, I just love this place, it's... I love to go shopping here, actually. I like to shop in Cardiff. I have a friend who likes to come shopping in Cardiff. She actually grew up in a sh-- grocer's, actually, in England, and later when she became the Prime Minister..."

[Woman in crowd: "I knew it."]

MacPhisto: "...she... she got very good at shopping."

Crowd: [boo]

MacPhisto: [offended] "This is a friend of mine you're talking about!  She had a wonderful idea, actually – she decided to run the whole kingdom like a shop, and she put on a sale."

Crowd: [laughter and applause]

MacPhisto: "And she sold the railways, and she sold the coal industry, and she sold the water, and she sold... What a great shopper – Lady Thatcher!"

Crowd: [boo]

MacPhisto: "I know you love her. Shall I give her a telephone call?"

Crowd: "Yeah!"

MacPhisto: "I do miss the old girl, don't you?"

[Woman in crowd: "Bloody old bitch!!"]

[dials]

MacPhisto: "It-- it's not local."

Crowd: [laughter]

MacPhisto: [sings to the tune of 'Getting To Know You'] "La-la-la laaa ta-daaa..."

Woman: [sounds like "Telephone number, good evening."]

MacPhisto: "Hello, is that the House of Commons?"

Woman: [sounds like "It is, speaking."]

MacPhisto: "Hello, I'd like to speak to Lady Thatcher, please."

Woman: "Well, I am sorry, but the House is in the summer recess at the moment – you'll have to write in to the, uh, Lords or Baronesses at the moment. You have to write to them."

Crowd: [boo]

Woman: "The House isn't sitting until October."

MacPhisto: [laughs] "I, I understand – um, no, you think I'm an ordinary person!  I, I actually know her personally."

Woman: "You know her personally."

MacPhisto: "Yes. My name is Mr MacPhisto."

Woman: "Yes."

MacPhisto: "Um... I was just wanting to know-- I wanted to let her know where I was. I'm in a place called Cardiff – I was wondering, had she heard of it?"

Crowd: [cheer]

Woman: [drowned out by crowd noise]

MacPhisto: "Yes."

Woman: "Well I think so, yes. But the thing is, you see, we can't get in contact with her. You have to write a letter to her, here at the House. We can't contact her during the recess."

Crowd: [boo]

MacPhisto: "I'm sure she'd be very upset. Um, could I leave her a message?"

Woman: "Well, as I say, the House is in the recess, so you can only post it."

MacPhisto: "I just wanted to say that..."

MacPhisto: [sings] "I just called to say I love you... I just called to say how much I care..."