26th November 1993
Note: The quality of my MP3 is quite poor, making parts of it extremely difficult to transcribe. Please let me know if you have a better quality clip or you've been able to decipher anything I couldn't!
MacPhisto: "Jolly good. That's wonderful. Look what you've done to me. You've made me very famous and I thank you."
MacPhisto: "I know you like your pop stars to be exciting so I bought these." [shows off platform boots] "Don't they look glamorous?"
Crowd: [cheers and whistles]
MacPhisto: "Quite a spectacle, ZooTV, isn't it? Costs a fucking fortune."
Crowd: [laughter and cheers]
MacPhisto: [inaudible] "Well, I, uh... I'd just like to say that... I'm very disappointed by the way you're treating the, um... the monarchy."
MacPhisto: "I believe that it's... a shame, and I would like to say, as an Englishman, that... I used to babysit the Queen, and, um... I'm personal friends with the Queen Mother whom you tried to kill off just the other day."
Crowd: [laughter and cheers]
MacPhisto: "Style and swagger – don't you like Lady Diana's [inaudible]?"
Crowd: [wolf whistles]
MacPhisto: "So why are you trying to sever links with the Crown?" [outraged] "After all we've done for you! Fish 'n' chips... punk rock... even your national sport, the game of cricket; where would you be without us?!"
Crowd: [singing – inaudible]
MacPhisto: "I beg your pardon?"
Crowd: [singing continues]
MacPhisto: "Shall I give Lady Diana a telephone call?"
MacPhisto: "We'll see what she has to say about all this, then. How [inaudible] she is."
MacPhisto: [singing – inaudible] "I just called... to say..."
MacPhisto: "Hello, I'd like to speak to the Queen Mother, please."
Woman: "I will get her for you. One momento."
MacPhisto: "How beautiful, [inaudible]. Hello, I'd like to speak to the Queen Mother, please. ...Hello? Lady Diana?"
Different woman: "Hello?"
MacPhisto: "Is that Lady Diana?"
Woman: "Hello possum! How are you, darling?"
MacPhisto: "I was looking for... Lady Diana or the Queen Mother. Wh-who's this?"
Woman: "This is Dame Edna here, you naughty little devil!"
MacPhisto: "Australian royalty! I... I, I, I don't know what to say, I'm just here with a few friends and we're talking about this dear old woman ourselves. We were wondering if – heaven forbid – something should happen to the old dear, you might be in line for a promotion?"
Dame Edna: "I'd love to step into those shoes! I would! But how did you get my number, though? Only Lenny Kravitz has got my number!" [laughs]
MacPhisto: "I borrowed his suit and it was left in the, er, pocket actually."
Dame Edna: "Oh, golly. Have you got a show tomorrow?"
MacPhisto: "I'm always on stage as it were, Dame."
Dame Edna: "Oh. You must come and see me, I'm in Sydney for two weeks – at the State Theatre!"
MacPhisto: "Advertising here on, here on ZooTV!"
Dame Edna: "In a spooky coincidence, because I was at the zoo today, darling!"
Dame Edna: "I was-- I thought of your beautiful album, Zooropa."
Dame Edna: "I reall-- I adore it. Is there anyone at your show tonight?"
MacPhisto: "Well, there's a few here."
MacPhisto: "If, uh... if you would like to hear a little song, perhaps, Y-Your Highness...?"
Dame Edna: "Ohh, just call me Edna. You know you always do. You're very good."
MacPhisto: [chuckles ironically]
MacPhisto: [sings] "God save our gracious Dame, long live our noble Dame, God save our Dame! Send her victorious! Happy and glorious! Long to live over us... God save our Dame!"
Dame Edna: "Thank you, Bo-no! I mean – thank you Bono!"
MacPhisto: "Au revoir!"
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